you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
