Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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