Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
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she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
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Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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