my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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