you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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