where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
