question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
