You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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