so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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