Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
