well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize