Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
