it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
