I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
