Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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