what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
