watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize