you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
A+ Viking dick
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