Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
