She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
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He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
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Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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