I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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