Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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