its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Princesses don't give blow jobs
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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