OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
