I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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