The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
