Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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