she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize