so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
