then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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