Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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