can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
