They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
