sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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