just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
