are you still at the devil's house?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
