There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
