I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
