Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
