3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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