I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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