Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
this hospital has no fireball
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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