i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
