So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
