you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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