At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
