I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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