i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
