Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
