I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize