Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
