? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
