What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
