I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
