I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
