yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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