that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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