I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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