Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
