honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
