fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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