She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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