I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
